June 18, 2009

David Barlock
Pastor David Barlock
Forgiving Others

I realize that this article will upset certain people and it may not help my ministry to advance in a popularity poll, but the topic needs to be addressed. When I answered the calling of God upon my life I instinctively knew that being admired by the masses should not be the goal of any preacher who desired to be a disciple of Jesus. He never side-stepped sensitive issues and neither should we.

First of all, let me state to those who may be sensitive to this topic that I am well aware of my own frailties as a human being. I am not setting myself on a pedestal or claiming to be above temptation.  I feel fortunate to be able to say that I have been faithful to my wife throughout our marriage, but that is not because I am any better than the next guy; I simply said “No” in my moments of temptation and leaned towards the grace of God that was available to me. I put a lot of weight on what Jude wrote:

But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith; praying in the Holy Spirit; keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting anxiously for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to eternal life. Jude 1:20-21 NAS – emphasis mine

In plain words, we need to take responsibility for our own spiritual life.

With that being stated, I will go to the Word of God:

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Heb 13:4 NIV

Marriage is at the very core of the well-being of every church. True, we are individually members of the Body of Christ… but the family unit is at center stage of every congregation. The success of a church not only depends on the charisma of an anointed ministry, but the testimony of the families that faithfully attend.  So then, we can expect that these two areas will be under constant attack by contrary spiritual forces working in the world. The Apostle Paul wrote to the Ephesians:

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Eph 6:12

We are fighting against an enemy that is much stronger than we can imagine. We know from the Scriptures that God’s holiness will ultimately prevail in the church, but it will not come without a fierce struggle between the flesh and spirit of all those who proclaim to be Christians (Galatians 5:16-17)

The news always seems to be bringing forth a sex scandal in government, sports and the entertainment business. Society has basically become anesthetized by such information because it is so commonplace, but when sex scandals are revealed within the church it is a different story. I have seen some beautiful congregations nearly destroyed by pastors who shamelessly preach to them while committing adultery. Oh yes, they are very ashamed once they are caught, but many of them go undetected - sometimes for years before their indiscretions come to light.

I have noticed throughout my ministry that those most inclined to this problem are the prosperity preachers who like to live the “good life”. They love popularity and strictly adhere to preaching encouraging messages in an effort to keep people happy. They are focused on the “success” of having a big church and the financial advantages that come with such congregations.

Power and money have led great people into spiritual destruction.  Having authority over people’s lives and possessing enough money to be financially secure can create a false sense of invulnerability. That attitude infects a person just before they start to cross the lines of what they used to consider sacred. What follows is often some kind of indulgence into improper sexual conduct.

I recently looked up on the internet “scandals in the ministry” and found the names of 17 different church leaders, men and women involved with prosperous ministries, who were brought down because of sex scandals from 1980 – 2008.  There are surely hundreds more that didn’t’ receive media attention because they were not in high profile positions, but they must have brought equal hurt to the testimony of the church in their area.

Nothing hinders the progress of a church like the sexual misconduct of a leader. It not only causes untold hurt but it causes people to doubt the integrity of the whole organization. If the sin is not dealt with properly, it can spawn the same kind of behavior in others who are barely hanging on to their faith because of depression or problems that they may be experiencing.

A scandal within a church is NEVER private… news gets around fast and jumps from one church to another. People spread stories as fast as they can dial a phone number or log on to the internet. It takes months for a congregation to heal from a case of adultery and it usually results in various people leaving the assembly.

As a bishop, I have dealt with a number of situations involving adultery within the ministry and laity. Every year it seems that more cases are exposed and it causes one to wonder, “Is anyone exempt from this problem?” The answer is “NO”. Sex has taken on an entirely different connotation in societies around the world over the last forty years. It is no longer valued as the sacred act of love within marriage, now it is an act of gratification between two consenting individuals. Believe me that statement can be interpreted many ways.

Here is the problem; adultery still causes the same hurt and division that it has over centuries past. It can be repented of and forgiven, but the scars it leaves behind are ever present.

The church needs to address this issue and bring it to the forefront, not push it into a corner and act as if it is a normal event in everyday life.

The Apostle Paul wrote clearly about it:

For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; 1 Th 4:3-5
I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters; for then you would have to go out of the world. But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he should be an immoral person 1 Cor 5:9-11 NASB
For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Eph 5:5 NASB
Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry. For it is on account of these things that the wrath of God will come, Col 3:5-6

I call that clear and precise teaching. It is the kind of teaching many people would rather not listen to because it sounds negative, yet on the other hand, it offers unambiguous instruction concerning the morality of God’s kingdom.

Paul makes the important point that we are responsible to keep ourselves pure by practicing self control. We cannot shift the blame for our failures upon the media or the sensuality of society around us – we have the power to live victoriously in a crooked and perverse generation.

Let’s take a moment to consider Abraham’s nephew Lot. The Bible says that he was a RIGHTEOUS man who was oppressed and tormented DAILY by the sexual misconduct of his lawless neighbors. That did not stop him from living a moral life however; he was in fact, rescued by the angels because he kept himself from slipping into the sins of those around him.

…He rescued righteous Lot, oppressed by the sensual conduct of unprincipled men (for by what he saw and heard that righteous man, while living among them, felt his righteous soul tormented day after day with their lawless deeds), then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from temptation…
2 Pet 2:7-9

Like it or not, we are living in a similar situation as Lot. Society’s standard of morality is on a constant decline, yet the Scriptures do not change with time and give us clear guidance as to how we are to live.

Here it is in a nutshell:

The Bible identifies these practices as SIN and promises to judge them harshly.

The church must stand as a light in the midst of darkness and be a living example of what God expects of His people. When the world hears of a scandal in the church, they give it a lot of media attention and infer this thought: “See, there is really no difference between us and them and they are hypocrites for acting as though they are more moral than anyone else”

So what can we do to keep ourselves?

Living in an attitude of prayer and studying the Scriptures cannot be neglected if we want to live as victorious Christians. We must actively keep the Lord before us.

I have set the LORD continually before me; Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Psa 16:8
I have chosen the faithful way; I have placed Thine ordinances before me. Psa 119:30

When our revelation of the nearness of God begins to dim, we become increasingly liberal with our thoughts, actions and moral understanding. My revelation of the Lord can ONLY be kept clear as I spend time with Him.

It also helps to have a list of questions that we memorize and ask ourselves before making an immoral decision. Here are a few that might be helpful:

  1. Is this act worth dragging Christ’s name and testimony through the mud of the world’s ridicule and defamation?
  2. Am I willing to grieve the Holy Spirit to the point where He may depart from me for a season?
  3. Am I willing to face the discipline that the Lord will bring my way through shame, public exposure and loss of the respect of those around me?
  4. Am I willing to suffer the loss of eternal reward and feelings of condemnation that will be with me after I commit this act?
  5. Am I willing to cause hurt to my spouse and lose her (his) respect and trust?
  6. Am I willing to risk the possibility of divorce and the trouble it would bring to my children’s emotional and financial security?
  7. How many innocent people will suffer because of my infidelity? Could I bear the weight of that responsibility?
  8. Am I ready to bear the responsibility of the damage that could take place in the other person’s life and marriage?  
  9. Am I willing to suffer the possibility of never being able to forgive myself and having haunting memories for the rest of my life?
  10. Am I willing to disqualify myself as a minister of the gospel and mark myself as a hypocrite after preaching to others?
  11. Can I bear the comments and ridicule that will come from those outside of my church?

When a Christian commits immorality – they face the things addressed in these questions. The repentance, remorse and shame they experience cannot be taken away by those who are advocates of “restoration”. God does restore sinners to salvation but there is no New Testament evidence that an immoral person will be restored to the same ministerial status in the church that they enjoyed before they decided to sin.

Paul’s first epistle to the Corinthians states something that causes me to a serious approach to this subject:

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? May it never be! Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a harlot is one body with her? For He says, "THE TWO WILL BECOME ONE FLESH." But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.
1 Cor 6:15-20

I don’t believe that I fully understand verse 18, but it is not to be taken lightly. What I do understand is that God dwells IN me, I am one spirit with Him and my most important ministry to the world is to glorify Him in my body. I hope that in my twilight years I can make the same statement as Paul wrote to Timothy:

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; 2 Tim 4:7

In closing I want to offer a word to those who have experienced moral failure; If you have committed sin in the past and repented of it, it is important that you know that God loves you unconditionally. It is also important that you love Him enough to make the promise to not fall into that sin again in the future. God’s mercies are greater than we can imagine and there is forgiveness with Him. The best we can do is to commit ourselves to Him daily and exercise the spiritual disciplines necessary to maintain a testimony that will bring glory to His Name.

David Barlock

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